Unless you adhere to the keep-my-mind-empty philosophy, it is nearly impossible not to be bombarded by random thoughts. They may evolve into lengthy contemplation or remain snippets flitting in and out of our lumpy brains without gaining traction.

Last week’s column was on Momisms. Many rushed to remind us of a couple of classics we forgot. In the interest of righting our mistakes, we humbly apologize. Forgive the omissions and read on.

Whenever you started to leave the house, did your mother stop you at the door to ask, “Are you wearing clean underwear? Just in case you are in an accident.” Is there anyone besides a mother who would worry whether a bloody and mangled victim had on dirty or religious underwear?

Picture EMTs arriving on the scene of an accident. Do they care for the injured or do they cut off their jeans, sniff and check the condition of the victim’s underwear? If the undergarments are dirty, will they turn away with disgust and focus on someone else? For the sake of those less interested in personal hygiene, we hope that is not the case.

Keep in mind certain events can cause folks to lose bladder and other bodily function control, and an underwear check may result in an incorrect diagnosis. What if the sniffing EMT is nasally constipated? The misdiagnosis could be catastrophic.

Our other omission was: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

What mothers in the throes of the challenging process of civilizing young humans do not understand is the innate need to lash out. Revenge and retaliation is the fabric of humankind. If that were not the case, fights and wars would not exist. Just ask Cain and Abel.

Let’s move on to other mental snippets. The continued learning process is what keeps folks from becoming inert lumps.

Some people stop living at far too young an age. Things happen to good people, and some find it difficult to cope with loss and move forward. They stop living and merely exist. We have a finite number of days, weeks, months or years. Wasting our time existing as human vegetables is not how things should be.

After Hubby moved on to the Funny Farm in the sky, there were days, and sometimes weeks this woman never left her house. Even though she has the soul of a hermit, she knew when to give her posterior a swift kick and go out for lunch or engage in other activities which involved seeing other people.

On a recent trip to their favorite Phô restaurant, this writer took her trusty Kindle. Why read when she might interact with others? The answer, dear reader, is folks get a bit testy when you stare at them over your vermicelli bowl. It is best to read the words on the Kindle. Avoids

When she went to pay, she placed the Kindle on the counter along with her purse. Since she tends to have a routine even when it came to something as simple as arriving home, the lady discovered her trusty electronic reader was not in her purse. A quick shuffle through her gray matter data files and after a telephone call to the restaurant, the Kindle was still at the restaurant.

People who live in metropolitan areas think nothing of driving miles to shop or eat out. They do not realize the distances they travel for non-work related activities. However, we live on several acres in the country. Everything that does not involve grocery shopping and other local quick trips is at least 45 minutes or more away.

Note to self: Make sure the Kindle is in the purse when not in use.

Aside from the supposed rational animals, even the non-rational animals provide entertainment. When it comes to set routines, our cattle are in a worse rut than this writer. However, their antics amuse us. The same is true for the birds visiting our birdfeeder.

A bird appeared trapped in the weeds, and we rushed outside to free it. It was two birds having fun.  We caused the birds to have a coitus interruptus moment.

 

 

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