What we desperately need are cold showers for the brain. It would be the best invention of our time.

Stop! Before your mental images take you down unintended trails, we did say the cold shower was for the mind and not southern parts of the body. However, if your mind tends to zoom to the nether regions at the speed of light when admiring an attractive person, then you may need a cold shower for both extremities. In either case, please consider the possibilities for the original proposal before you dismiss the idea.

Many people shower before going to bed. Hubby was one of them. It did not matter what the season, he loved a hot to nearly scalding shower. The man could fall asleep at the drop of an eyelash. What do you expect from the guy who fell asleep at the beginning of a college final exam — sitting with pen poised during almost the entire allotted time?

Even though his wife has no problem falling asleep while watching television, the opposite is the case when she puts her head on the pillow. Her mind kicks into high gear and will not shut down. It does not matter how exhausted she is; sleep is out of her reach for hours.

It almost seems as if her subconscious bided its time during the day until her body stops moving. She multitasks all day long. If you doubt us, ask her children.

When they call, unlike a normal person, their mother decides to multitask, which may include talking while cleaning the bathrooms. Such behavior prompted her daughter to tell a friend, “You could eat off of mom’s toilets because she constantly cleans them.”

At other times, the lady chooses to do laps around the sizable kitchen island while chatting. At some point during the conversation, her daughter will ask, “Mom, are you walking around the island again?”

“Yes. How did you know?”

“Your breathing hard.”

“Oh. I must have picked up the pace to optimize the benefits of walking.”

If the woman would stop moving and carry on a less gasp-filled conversation, those “brilliant” things the subconscious wants to push to the forefront of her mind would happen during the day instead of at night.

At some point, this lady became desperate enough to try a hot shower before bedtime. It was like a shot of adrenaline, which is why she now opts for a morning wake up shower.

Perhaps now you can understand her proposal for some brilliant inventor to create a mechanism for the brain to take a cold shower. It would make sense. Taking a cold brain shower would cool down the constant brain activity before bedtime. The idea merits consideration.

Well-meaning friends suggested she take deep breaths when she goes to bed. Relax and visualize all her cares flowing down her body and eventually out her toes. While she inhaled and focused on relaxing, her mind could not decide if she should count sheep or time between breaths. The result was frantic gasps while ten other potential ideas to relax bombarded her.

Folks recommended “safe” sleeping aids. As the wife of a pharmacist, she knew better than to rely on chemicals. Besides, the direction on the bottle may tell you how many and how often you should take such pills, but no one knows how a person’s body will react.

For example, sleep deprivation became an issue at one point during college. The doctor prescribed sleeping pills. She woke up an hour after taking them and could not go back to sleep.

If you think about it, children who are difficult to put to bed may have similar problems. As a child, this writer did not want to go to bed because she might miss something while she slept. Never mind that her parents might have wanted alone time, but little-miss-wide-awake interfered with such plans.

Since her sleep issues come up in conversations with family, some suggested her problem could be hormone related. If that is the case, she wishes the hormones would stop moaning long enough to let her fall asleep.



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