“Buckle up, you’re in for a bumpy ride.”

If you think we hint at a harrowing rollercoaster experience at an amusement park, you are mistaken, buttercup. There is something more nightmarish going on than a simple multi-loop, upside-down rollercoaster or even a highly touted haunted house.

Even though we are already exhausted with the incessant political bluster, we are on the backside of the 2020 Presidential Campaign, also known as the DC Smackdown. In reality, the next Presidential Campaign begins the moment we elect a President.

Try this to ease your pain. Pretend all the candidates are gorillas thumping their aging chests. Now view the Presidential Campaign as the human version of the same circus.

Why do folks leave modern homes to move into the 227-year-old house at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Power. Power to “help” folks? Power to muzzle dissenting opinions? Probably the latter. For politicians, power is the new life path.

Considering the 24/7 infomercials that now pass for news, you may not have heard: “The Road to Hell is paved, to make the drive easier?”*

No matter how you look at it or where you go, moving is a pain in the posterior. But if you move into the White House, someone else does the heavy lifting. We can only hope the movers arrange the furniture to our liking. What if they misplace the President’s boxers or shirts? He might have to go sans his tidy whities and shirt. The mental image of a partially naked seasoned body is barfacious.

Politicians never stop campaigning. Once elected by the Duffuses, eternal electioneering and fundraising become their career. Cushy job.

If you bristled at being called a Duffus, answer the following questions.

Are you a party robot? Do you vote party instead of the best candidate? Are you a historical voter? Do you vote party because your ancestors did so, even if it may not be in your best interest? If you answered yes to any of the preceding, you might as well turn in your common sense card because you have not engaged the brain it so long it has atrophied.

Even if you revere grand pappy’s and great grand pappy’s wisdom, times and the country have changed. We have access to information they did not. Although some voters do their due diligence prior to casting their ballots far too many do not, which is why they vote along party lines. Can you say l-a-z-y?

Some folks lament the passing of the “good old days,” assuming politicians were civilized angels during the birthing of our nation. Let us be clear on this point. Politics was and shall always be nasty, rolling-in-the-verbal-mud ugly.

The Presidential Campaign between John Adams and Thomas Jefferson could be the birth of negative campaigning in this country. Jefferson may seem to be a stellar forefather, but his use of the pen was a double-edged sword. Yes, he wrote the magnificent Declaration of Independence, but he also wrote defamatory pieces about his opponent, John Adams. Instead of publishing such scribbles under his name, he had them published by the pamphleteer hatchet man of his day, James Callendar.

Although Jefferson and Adams were friends before the campaign, political rivalry made them enemies for a time. But, as is often the case with the denizens of Washington, they became friends twelve years after Jefferson’s election. They even managed to die on the same day, July 4, 1826.

But even on his deathbed, John Adams held onto his resentment toward his frenemy, Jefferson. His last words were, “Thomas Jefferson still survives.” But he was wrong, Jefferson died five hours earlier.

When you think about it, who better to have as a friend than the foe you know well? Who else but another delusional Despicable Me can stand to be around someone like themselves?

The symbol for the Republicans is the elephant and the jackass for the Democrats. But here is the deal, one has to have thick skin to be in politics and be a jackass for even considering that lowlife career.

 

* Fractured Proverbs and Twisted Thoughts

 

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