Now that the political conventions for both parties are FINALLY over, what looms on the horizon? The answer my friend is blowing in the wind, as in three more months of excessive carbon dioxide emissions, also known as empty rhetoric or hot air — including the same old same old promises which the winners never keep.

All too often our choices for president are between the “absolutely not” candidate and the “hold your nose and vote” candidate. What we lack and sorely need is a stain free candidate. Teflon politicians need not apply. No murky past. No email trails, No Tweets or evidence of questionable deeds. Someone who has never been in the political arena, but instinctively knows what to do in any conceivable situation. In other words, we need a miracle.

In contrast to perfection, let’s look at what we have or must choose from now. Female politicians often spend the first part of their lives raising a family and possibly working outside the home as well. As we all know from the plethora of nature shows on television, the females in the animal kingdom are protective of their young; formidable hunters; and ferocious fighters.

Human females bring an additional trait to the political arena. They are vindictive and lethal. Such destructiveness may not lead to an opponent’s actual demise, but retaliation may often include the destruction of careers and reputations. So, “Why do we throw the poison pill into the mix and elect females to powerful political positions?”

On the other hand, male politicians are no better. They possess all the vices of female politicians along with a sense of the “I am king of the jungle” mindset. The only real difference between the two genders is the males have been in power longer and know every sneaky trick to gain even more power. Once again we must ask, “Why do we elect men to political office?”

If the status quo is unacceptable, how do we fix the system? Where do we find the paragons of virtue we need to correct or solve the problems? Do not despair. There is a solution.

Ladies and gentlemen, the best choice for the next president and all future politicians could be the Android prototype we built in the garage in our spare time. Do not laugh and try not to choke on your adult beverage.

Programmed with all knowledge, the Android can learn and utilize deductive reasoning. Imagine a politician making logical decisions for the peoples’ benefit rather than for personal enrichment or increased power.

Wouldn’t that be a refreshing change from the baggage-ridden ideologues of past Oval Office occupiers? No more emotional outbursts and calculated retaliations for imagined or actual wrongs just because the president is hypersensitive. The Android is far superior to humans.

The Android lacks emotions to muddy its judgment. The android is programmed to do no harm to humans. Unlike the Android, humans find it all too easy to harm one another. Too bad humans are not programmable to only do good. It could simply be a matter of inserting chips in the human brain to curb their innate tendency to wreak havoc. (Sigh.)

At first glance, the idea to eradicate man’s inhumanity to man seems not only plausible but also sound. But then that tiny voice of reason grows louder and louder until it screams, “Are you nuts?” Anyone who read “Colossus” by D. F. Jones, originally published in 1966 and a film in 1970 entitled “Colossus: The Forbin Project,” would concur with that tiny voice’s question.

Since man is a fallible creature, his creations will always have flaws.  If you doubt this, consider the countless updates and corrections needed for iPhones or Microsoft products.

On second thought, it might be wiser to stick with the devil we know, namely, human politicians, rather than the unknown variable.  Humans cannot deal with or handle perfection.


Elizabeth “Liz” Cowan is a freelance writer and author. Check out her suspense novels and humor books available on Fractured Proverbs & Twisted Thoughts – written as Elizabeth Cowan and Through the Keyhole – written as Liz Cowan. Website: Twitter: @LizCowan4

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