If your commute takes longer than ten or fifteen minutes, you may find your mind wandering. Countless thoughts will go tripping across your gray matter. Some may surprise you or leave you laughing out loud. In any case, driving to and from work is an adventure, but rarely pleasant.

Traffic is creeping along slower than Aesop’s fabled tortoise. Suddenly, you spy a Smart Car weaving in and out of the traffic lanes, nearly kissing the bumpers of several cars. Does such reckless behavior contradict the name of the car or just the bad judgment of the driver?

While we on the topic of Smart Cars, perhaps we should question the driver’s sanity for choosing to drive an overgrown roller skate under daily hazardous conditions. Did the drivers make their decisions based on gas consumption? How eco-frugal of them. But, if their Smart Car becomes the oozy filling, crushed between two tractor trailers, does it matter how much they saved on gas?

Except for the occasional rush of terror due to inattention, the daily commute can be mind-numbing. Have you ever arrived at your destination but cannot recall what happened between Starting Point A and Ending Point B?

Should you need reassurance that nothing catastrophic happened during the blanked out drive, turn on the traffic reports. If there is no mention of gory fender benders along the route you drove, then all is well until the next blanking event.

It is disconcerting, but the mind goes where random thoughts take it. Will the rabid mommy state pass laws against thinking and driving? How would they enforce such a law?

How do you occupy your mind while driving?  Do you listen to the radio — talk or music? Perhaps you divide time between the two, which can happen when the news is annoyingly the same, different day, yet regurgitated non-news.

A juicy tidbit on the news caught our attention about a breastfeeder activist who plopped out the mammary gland during church services without covering up. Yes, it is a natural function, but not everyone wants to look at your lady parts.

This story reminded us of the mother of six in our old neighborhood. Her youngest was a boy of five who was still nursing. Even though he ate regular food, it was not uncommon for him to walk up to his mother, anytime and anyplace, and demand “Milk ball.” She would promptly proceed to nurse him. Some folks remarked, “If he can ask for it, he’s too old for that type of snack.”

Baseball sports news reminds us of a longtime nagging question, “Why are so many baseball pitchers and many other position players chunky?” Except for football players who tend to resemble lumpy mattresses instead of hunky athletes, baseball players should be firm and slim with drool-worthy abs. Instead, they tend to resemble oozing seat warmers as your local bar. Somehow, lumpy, chunky and barely able to waddle around the bases does not scream athlete.

Enough talk! We change the station to old music. Elvis Presley is moaning his way through one of his most popular songs “Love Me Tender.” Based on the countless tales of his overly friendly lifestyle with the female persuasion “One Night with You” is a more fitting epitaph for the peanut butter and banana sandwich dude.

We flip back to the news station with a derisive snort to hear a breathless newsreader discuss a recent airplane dust up. According to a talking head, airline related rioting can be expected in the future because the ABC Generations do not deal with discomfort and lack anger management skills.

This bit of wisdom is supposed to come as a major surprise? The coddled and aimless ABCs have never been taught to deal with disappointment and adversity. Could it be well-meaning adults fell down on the job preparing the snowflakes for real life?

As you can see, when the mind is unfettered and unfocused, it tends to wander from one unrelated topic to another. Enjoy the adventure.


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