Are you squeamish? Prepare to rethink a few things, especially the foods you enjoy.

Do you like honey butter spread on a warm slice of bread or hot biscuits? How about a teaspoon or two of the golden liquid in your tea or coffee? Some folks prefer to use honey instead of sugar when they bake. This writer enjoys a drizzle of local honey on oatmeal and then stirs in yogurt for good measure.

Since curiosity fuels this lady’s actions, she decided to explore the basics behind honey. When she completed her research, a touch of bile rose in her throat.

Contrary to popular belief, honey is neither bee vomit nor bee poop. Phew! Swallow back the bile. Bees tend to be a bit promiscuous when it comes to flowers. They flit from flower to flower and use their long proboscis to suck and collect nectar from every blossom that strikes their fancy. The nectar then goes into a special stomach or honey stomach which is separate from the stomach used for digestion.

The collected nectar breaks down into simple sugars and stored in the honeycomb. And to ease your mind, bees poop midflight outside of the honeycomb. Feel free to add another Phew at this point.

So, if you feel comfortable using honey after the preceding information, knock yourself out. This lady still swallows a bit of bile before putting on her big girl knickers and slurps up another taste of honey. It is delicious and local honey helps with allergies.

Birds are indiscriminate eliminators. They gobble seeds from all kinds of plants. Then their white dribble leaves gifts, including those seeds, everywhere. Consequently, unplanned flowers and even wild blackberry bushes, pop up in your landscape. Rest easy when you pick and eat those delicious blackberries. They come from seeds delivered by bird poop.

The last time you went to a seafood restaurant (not to be mistaken for a “see food and overstuff yourself” restaurant), did you order lobster, crab, or shrimp?

All three prey on fish, worms, and other crustaceans. When good fortune strikes, they scavenge the dead bodies of those and other undersea animals. Some are filter feeders. That means they eat particles and small organisms strained from the water. In other words, poop is part of their diet.

Let’s continue down the gross trail. Some folks are on a constant hunt for the next high, but sometimes the source is beyond questionable.

Ask any farmer or rancher, and they will tell you about seeing lights in the pasture during the night. The flashlight users are nocturnal cow poop hunters. More specifically, they seek the magic mushrooms, in particular, Psilocybin cubensis, a species that loves dung and thrives in cow or goat manure.

Those magic mushroom seekers must be desperate for their next high to dig in cow poop and consume the little capped delicacies. If you are interested, you can search the internet to learn how to hunt and find Psilocybin cubensis that grow in cow dung. Enjoy the hunt and wash your hands.

On a practical note, back in pioneer days folks collected dried cow and buffalo patties to burn as fuel in the fireplace when wood was unavailable. Imagine the stench! It is safe to assume not even a truckload of modern room fresheners could have made the air in those hovels smell sweet.

Since this lady finished her chicken related chores for the day, it is fitting to include the cluckers as well.

Most people like eggs. They use them in cook and baking. Eggs are particularly delicious for breakfast after a little beating blended with herbs, spices, and cheese. You guessed it — unsavory information alert.

Based on personal observation, even without online research, chickens do lay eggs from the same vent as their excrements. As a result, the task of collecting eggs includes washing the cackleberries. There is a reason this woman refers to the entire process of dealing with chickens as “taking care of chicken sh*t.”

Upon further consideration, vegetables and fruits sound good right now.

Bon appetit.

 

 

 

 

 

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