People tend to open their pie holes, allowing words to escape before the brain has time to engage.

Why would anyone risk ridicule with careless words? Unbeknownst to many, we do possess a built-in security mechanism. This wondrous gadget is what people call a brain. The brain is supposed to police our words and actions to prevent the spewing forth of random thoughts that trigger pain, shock or plain disbelief in others.

Whether your words are true, false or somewhere in between, once they exit your pie hole they can never be retracted or forgotten. This bit of wisdom is fundamental, especially when engaging in a verbal throw-down between lovers and friends.

Whether you say it in Latin, French, Italian, German or English — mea culpa, désolé, mi dispiace,  es tut mir leid, or I’m sorry — and accompany such verbal groveling with dozens of roses, the careless words uttered in the heat of the moment will linger on for eternity.

The reason for this phenomenon is similar to the proverbial elephant’s memory. A woman never forgets or forgives. No matter what she tells you, the words will linger in the back of her mind ready for a resurrection like a mental Jacques dans la boȋte also know as Jack in the box.

In case you have lost track of time contemplating your navel lint, once again the country is subjected to the Leap Year cycle of hot air spewage. If you assume we are referring to the eternal presidential campaign, you are partially correct. However, your assumption omits another equally vocal group desperate for attention.

Are you still scratching your head wondering what the correct answer might be? Relax. We are here to help. The answer is celebrity promises.

You would think being paid millions for pretending to be someone else or strutting up and down a stage “singing” would be enough for the folks labeled entertainers. But that wretched mass of attention seekers is never content just to count their money. They seek intellectual relevance. And we thought wealth was the end all and be all of what we call the human existence.

True to form, up pipes a formerly cute but now annoying and corpulent Disney graduate promising to leave the country if the party of her choice is not in power. Whenever any person of celebrity makes such pronouncements, a fund to purchase a one-way ticket on the first plane heading to anywhere in the Middle East should be set up in their name. Imagine the going away parties and the garage sales!

If past performance is any indication of what we can expect, then those who hoped for such departures will be sorely disappointed. They are still among us. Drat! Is there no one we can count on to keep their word?

Heaven knows we cannot believe anything a politician says because they would not recognize the truth even if it took a chunk out of their sizable posteriors.

First of all, presidential candidates of both persuasions can and do promise the moon, but without the cooperation of the drooling, senile and entrenched class we know as the Senate and the House of Representatives (also known collectively as Congress), not one promise will come to fruition.

That type of power only belongs to a dictator or monarch. If those who are even partially interested look up from their not-so-smartphones and pay attention, please note that we do not elect dictators or monarchs. Although some elected folks’ actions seem to place an emphasis on the first syllable of the word “dictator.”

More than one disgusted voter has suggested that candidates for any office should be hooked up to lie detectors. Then voters can base their decision on the number of spikes on the detector printouts. Since the use of a lie detector is wishful thinking, a fully engaged brain is the only voter alternative.

Remember the brain is both a controller and a guide. Give it a try and learn to use it.


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