There is an art to mental meanderings.

If you tend to barrel through life concentrating on one objective or another, then you may not be a mental meandering type. But you are missing out on cheap entertainment.

Driving is the ideal time to practice. The way this works is, allow your mind to wander and see what pops into your head. Please note, you must be adept at mental bifurcation before attempting this activity. Why? Because it is imperative to keep half you brain focused on the lunatics driving too close to your vehicle.

Sometimes what you hear on the radio will trigger a meandering.

For example, the news reported the explosion of another IUD on the streets of Iraq. You immediately feel sorry for the affected female because an IUD is an intrauterine device used for birth control. Does this mean the woman’s birth control disintegrated during playtime? On the street? Or, did the reporter mean to say IED which is an improvised explosive device used by terrorists?

Laziness is the underlying culprit behind the overuse of acronyms instead of complete words. Not surprisingly, confusion is often the outcome. Nevertheless, the results can be highly entertaining, as was the case when a cheeky talking head said the female presidential candidate suffered from LSD. Did he mean she used lysergic acid diethylamide, a hallucinogenic drug popular in the 60s? No. The fellow was in fact referring to a Lax Security Disorder concerning her emails. (Please note: this is not a political commentary, but rather a whimsical meandering triggered by some talking head. We unabashedly point out the funnies wherever we stumble across them. Therefore, everything and everyone is fair game.)

In this era of folks’ inability to take responsibility for their actions or words, you often hear the acronym CYA meaning cover your a**. However, CYA is also used in urban speak for “see ya.” When a person is associated with the ADA, does the speaker mean American Dental Association or Americans with Disabilities Act?

Often our confusion is exacerbated by the fact that we do not listen and give our full attention to the speaker. No, this does not mean we are all inflicted with ADD (attention deficit disorder), it simply means we are becoming an increasingly rude society. Focus on the conversation, baby, and stop thinking about your reply or retort.

As a result of the heightened rudeness factor present in many if not most interactions with others, confusion reigns. However, we cannot help but question the logic or propriety of some acronyms. For example, GI can either refer to the Glycemic Index, which concerns a person’s blood sugar level, or Government Issue, which may mean “military equipment” or “personnel.” Referring to people as objects and possessions of the government is rather cold, don’t you think?

Some of this writer’s favorites include: RAM, which may be a reference to a truck or the sometimes evil but satisfying action of slamming into something or someone. (Of course, you must look closely to see those evil horns which are well hidden among the slammer’s hair strands, unless the dude is bald.)

If PU pops up in conversation, you may be discussing Princeton University, where Albert Einstein occupied an office in the mathematics department even though he was never on the university faculty. PU can also be a commentary on a stench that offends our olfactory nerves and makes our eyes water.

Along the same twisted thought path, BO may be someone telling you to mind your own business as in “butt out.” Or, it could refer to yet another serious assault on your nose hairs as they are crushed by a nearby person’s “body odor.”

Our proclivity for acronyms and shortened words may raise eyebrows, such as a friend’s frequent reference to pectoral muscles as “peckers” instead of “pecs.”

But then, I told a friend I bought new wedged shoes and how comfortable they were. “I love those wedgies,” I enthused. Her peals of laughter are still echoing in my ears.


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