Conversations are like toddlers. You never know what they will get into or where they will lead.

We are in the throes of Early Voting in Texas. Since it is an off-year election for state constitutional amendments, the lull between voters allows workers to visit.

One of the ladies mentioned her underwear felt uncomfortable when she wore blue jeans. Her granddaughter suggested grandma try the hi-cut panties. So, the lady bought some and wore them to work.

She squirmed the entire day, trying to get comfortable. On the way home, she called her granddaughter, “I hate them. They feel even more uncomfortable than my old panties.”

As soon as she arrived home, she took off the offending panties. That is when she discovered why the panties had been uncomfortable. She put one leg through the leg opening and the other through the part that goes around the waist.

Later, she called her granddaughter and told her about the mix-up. After the young woman stopped laughing, grandma added, “I’m not wearing them again because they are too hard to figure out.”

Once the conversation slides into underwear territory, everyone has a story.

When this writer worked at a computer company, the secretary was not the warm and fuzzy type.

Around lunchtime, the secretary went to the restroom. When she returned to her desk, she was laughing so hard she almost missed the chair as she sat down.

“I had my girdle on backward all morning,” she explained. (Please note, back then ladies wore girdles to hold in and smooth out their jiggly parts.)

“No wonder she’s been so crabby,” one of the clerks whispered as we all enjoyed another round of laughter.

While attending college, this writer owned a pair of culottes (knee-length pants with full legs to resemble a skirt). They were not only neat in appearance but also quite comfortable.

After spending all night writing a term paper, she hit the snooze button once too often in the morning. Naturally, she was running late for class. She grabbed a skirt from the closet and dressed on the way out the door.

Throughout the day, she kept tugging on her skirt. It felt as if there was extra material hanging off on one side. She solved the mystery when she got home and changed clothes. In her haste to get ready, the coed thought she grabbed a skirt, but it was the culottes. She managed to slide both legs into one side of the culottes, which caused the unused leg to flap around as she walked.

As you can see, dressing in haste has consequences, especially if you have a morning routine.

Before doing anything else, this writer got up and headed to the kitchen for that critical first cup of coffee. On this particular morning, she showered and dressed before the coffee.

Traffic was a nightmare, which is when she realized she had forgotten to put on deodorant. After a quick stop at the nearby drugstore, the deodorant issue was closer to being resolved. However, when she went to the restroom to apply the deodorant, she noticed she was not wearing a bra.

Fortunately, the outfit she wore consisted of a blouse and a vest. Otherwise, the usual bounce in her step would have included a noticeable bounce on her chest as well. The day passed with minimal walking and crossed arms. Typing with arms crossed was a challenge, as well.

We know there is too much clutter in our minds. Therefore, being forgetful early in the morning is inevitable.

Our children’s middle school was across town. Consequently, their mother had to drive them to school every morning. One particularly hectic morning, mother and the children jumped in the car. But when she stopped at the Stop sign at the end of the block, mom realized that she forgot to put in her contact lens.

In the blink of her unfocused eyes, she put the car in reverse and raced back to the house to rectify the omission. Too bad, her children were too sleepy to enjoy mom’s backward race.

 

www.facebook.com/Liz.Cowan.Author.

www.elizabethcowan.com.

Twitter: @LizCowan4

%d bloggers like this: