Somewhere in the world somebody or a group of bodies write new laws every day. Laws are meant to guide and control the masses, but at some point, we ought to call a halt to the relentless insanity.

On January 1, 2010: 40,627 new laws were on the books in the USA and its overseas territories and protectorates. It boggles the mind to think of all those busybodies attempting to control our lives. It is scary and at the same time, laughable to think they can play one-upmanship with God.

Rules existed long before Moses received the two tablets. Even Adam and Eve had a rule, a simple one. “Do not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge.” One bloody rule and they still managed to break it.

After untold generations and countless laws made by rulers and religious leaders, the guy most folks picture as a robust male of indeterminate age with long white hair and matching beard gave Moses Ten Commandments. Ten simple rules to live by intended not only for the great unwashed wandering in the desert but all men as well. (Please note: they did not have motels on every corner and hot showers back then.)

Clearly, folks believe following those commandments was similar to fluffing chocolates in a huge candy dish. In their minds, it was busy work and a waste of time and effort.

At first glance, they were simple, but difficult if not impossible to keep. To follow the Ten Commandments requires humanity to go against its very nature. People envy the good fortune of others, and they steal. How can people honor their parents while constantly rebelling against parental and other authority?

Someone angers another. The offended party lashes out and exterminates the offender. Based on past performance, it is “normal” behavior for humans to be violent. After all, Cain managed to break the sixth commandment (Thou shall not kill) long before the Ten Commandments existed.

The interesting thing about laws is people’s arrogance when they decide their laws are better than the original ten. Did you know when the lawmakers enact new laws, those laws create new crimes. Wickedly clever of those crafty lawmakers, don’t you think?

Based on the vast number of weird laws in existence, we can only conclude that while drafting and vomiting forth one law after another, the lawmakers were either high or drunk, or both.

For example the Texas law: You must ask permission to eat someone’s garbage or go to jail.  Did they add bon appetit as a rider? What about the Texas law requiring tail lights on a horse while riding at night? And, of course, the bellylaugh-inducing Texas law, which proclaims that vibrators are illegal. Really? Passing that law was that critical?

Lawmakers must have a serious obsession with sexually related laws because they sure create a lot of them. Are they too old to have fun or frustrated because no one wants them?

Sleeping in your birthday suit can land you in jail in Minnesota. Invading bedrooms and flicking back the covers to inspect sleeping attire or lack has to be the height of boredom or mighty kinky.

San Francisco, a liberal city in behavior and thought decreed: It is illegal to walk down the street if you are ugly, deformed or repulsive. Not very friendly or inclusive, are they?

Another California law prohibits fake orgasms by either sex. Might be interesting to see how a guy can perform that trick.

Pennsylvania will consider your marriage null and void if you marry an idiot. Guess that makes at least half the children in the state illegitimate. Don’t even bother to ask why. Noodle that one out yourself.

A person will spend 30 days in jail for flirting on the streets of Little Rock. That’s harsh. How will pavement princesses ply their trade?

Nashville is quite amusing with its anti-erection in public law. And we are not talking about buildings.

Since lawmakers, both religious and secular, seem to be so obsessed with sex, we can only conclude those who make such laws are frustrated and want everyone to feel their pain and frustration as well. The Ten Commandments is succinct no amendments necessary. And only two deal with sex.