If we chose to be honest with our deluded selves, many of us would recognize certain behavior on our part as a cry for attention. It is easy to spot such conduct for what it is in other people, but the question is, how many people are brave enough to recognize that trait in the person staring back at them from the mirror?

It is natural to want people’s respect, love, adulation or whatever kind of attention they deem to bestow on each other. The unnatural or perhaps obsessive desire for attention that some crave is what frustrates and annoys the rest of us. Such immature and needy behavior is enough to cause some to tear out fistfuls of hair and expel plumes of smoke from our ears.

You installed 5-inch diameter dual exhausts on your sleek car or jacked up truck and want everyone to notice. Trust us when we say, we are aware not only of your existence but also of your bloody manhood compensating vehicle because it is becoming more and more intimate with our rear bumper. Just to make sure you have everyone’s attention, you turn up the volume on your radio. The pulsing beat of the music you decided to share with everyone within two blocks of your vehicle is causing the earth tremors beneath our tires.

You have our attention. We hope the unkind thoughts directed at you do not lead us down the paved road to Hades. Since you love amplified music, we hope you set aside funds for the heavy duty hearing aids or cochlear implants in your ears’ future.

Toddlers, teenagers and some seasoned citizens all vie for our attention. Toddlers do so with temper tantrums. Teenagers opt for outlandish and, at times, self-destructive behavior. The mature folk discovered that resistance is futile when it comes to the Home Shopping network, and spend your inheritance with glee. From each of their perspectives, negative attention is better than being ignored.

Big Box and grocery stores try to catch the shopper’s attention by stocking the aisle endcaps with enticing “must-have” items. By sheer coincidence, such presumed “bargains” tend to be smoke and mirrors. For example, if the store wants to sell canned items normally marked 10 cents apiece, the items will appear on the endcaps at two cans for 25 cents.

It is time to outsmart the store managers. Frustrate their devious and mercenary little hearts by ignoring the endcaps and racing past those sections at breakneck speeds. Of course, it would be in every other shopper’s best interests if you try not to collide with or run over those who may not have your intestinal fortitude to resist endcap temptations.

Certain behavior will attract attention. Why do you suppose businesses hire folks to jump up and down in hot animal costumes in the heat of summer, pointing to their stores? They want you to come in and buy whatever they have on sale. Of course, if you take the bait and enter the store, they will not discourage you from checking out and purchasing items at full price as well.

Allow us to preface our final example by reminding you of a basic fact regarding males. No matter how young or old they may be, boys will be boys. We should expect nothing less.

Some people, females, in particular, are never satisfied with their appearance. Consequently, they spend their lives adjusting and correcting Mother Nature’s perceived mistakes.

A friend’s aunt decided that her “boobelinas” needed enhancement. No one understood why she felt the need to do so because they were bigger than ping pong balls. The lady made certain the entire family knew about her plans.

When the family gathered at Christmastime, she wore a low cut, tight sweater. She was proud of the “girls” and wanted everyone to notice. Suddenly, her outraged screams, directed at the friend’s grade school-aged son, filled the room.

Curious to see the difference between the original and the enhanced version, the boy checked out her figure from a side angle and remarked, “I don’t see a difference.”

It is a simple formula. If you crave attention, be prepared to get it.